Wednesday, April 16, 2008

WHEN INSPIRATION CANNOT BE FOUND, YOU GET THIS

I'm not sure when my brother and I started deliberately seeking out bad movies, but it's impossible to remember a time when we didn't. We liked bad TV as well--if it starred Granville Van Dusen, we'd be watching--but there's a special thrill to plopping down your money and buying tickets to Star Crash.

A few things to keep in mind as you watch this:

1) Yes, that's really Christopher Plummer. And his performance here isn't even as good as David Hasselhoff's.

2) That awful music? It's by John Barry!

3) This thing was produced by Nat Wachsberger, also responsible for Jerry Lewis' legendarily awful The Day The Clown Cried.

4) There was a time--now forgotten--when people actually hired Marjoe Gortner. As an actor, I mean.

5) What the hell kind of trailer tells us we are "about to be hurled"?

6) Remember--it's in DOLBY STEREO!

7) I've paid to see this. More than once.