Friday, August 10, 2012

THE CONVERSATION, IT TURNED TO WOMEN

1)  Hey, remember when I used to pad this space with Random Thoughts posts?  How they seemed kind of lazy, because they were just half-formed ideas that I couldn't be bothered to turn into full-fledged essays?  And then how posting got so sparse around here that I couldn't even be bothered with something even that lame?

Anyway, yeah, this is one of those.

2)  Things are still weird here in my post-Janie world.  She lived here for more or less two years, so in addition to being alone in a relationship sense, I'm literally alone, with no one to talk to or greet me when I come home from work.

As you might imagine, it's kind of depressing.  In fact, my days and nights are pretty much as George Jones depicts in this song, only with a six pack of Grain Belt instead of Jim Beam.  Which might be even sadder, come to think of it.



3)  Let's say, for the sake of argument, that you have an inexplicable desire to do an impression of Jean-Claude Van Damme in Hard Target, specifically his reaction to smashing his gas-leaking bike into a gun thug-filled SUV, then blowing the whole shebang sky high with one shot: A half-hearted fist pump and a full-throated cry of, "YAH!"

Well, sure.  Who doesn't do this on a regular basis?  However, if you happen to perform this in the company of a preternaturally excitable beagle, you're bound to set the poor dog into a barking jag that will go on and on and on for at least five minutes.  If, on the other hand, you have a dull, uninteresting dog--or no dog at all, for that matter--feel free to Van Damme away.

4)  This whole Chick-Fil-A thing...see, this is the sort of thing I once would have gone on about at some length, probably wrapped in a Star Wars analogy of some sort, but, as we've previously noted, I barely write at all anymore.

I'll just say this: If you want to boycott a fast food place because its owner is opposed to gay marriage, fine.  If you want to stage a counter-protest and eat all the crappy fast food you can because you, too, oppose gay marriage, that's okay, too.

But if your fast food choices have to pass some sort of ideological litmus test, you must have a tough time even functioning in this world.  Every major restaurant or department store chain is a wholly-owned subsidiary of some shadowy corporation or other, a corporation that almost certainly has contributed funds to a cause you oppose.  Most corporations routinely funnel funds into Democratic and Republican coffers, because they never know which party they'll need to lobby to get their way.

So if you want to be ideologically pure, hey, good luck.  Where, though, does your purity end?  Do you, I dunno, refuse to go to the hospital because it uses Stryker beds, and Stryker lets its equipment be sold to abortion clinics? Because that would be really stupid, and depending on the circumstances, you could die.

So maybe you should just relax and acknowledge that life is tough enough without worrying whether your lunch mirrors your belief system.  It's a sandwich, for crying out loud.

5)  I had a Dark Knight Rises rant ready to go, or more accurately, a rant about how the reaction to the movie was muted by the shootings in Aurora, and how that's not necesarily a bad thing, but you know, the dog is still barking, and I'm distracted.

6)  The cats, on the other hand, are still sleeping.  It's what they do.