Saturday, April 29, 2006


The pod people want to take your soul.

The latest evidence is the new Acura commercial:

A sign in a window indicates we're in a cyber cafe, a haven for psuedo-boho hipsters. Close-ups of our protagonist, looking nervous and out of place. He's being watched. People seem to disapprove. Omigod, he's standing out from the crowd. Finally, the punchline: He's using a typewriter!

The graphics appear--IT's TIME TO UPGRADE--and we realize we're watching a car commercial.

Aside from the shaky premise inherent in the cathphrase--An Acura as upgrade?--this commercial makes it clear that in our society, any assertion of individuality is likely to provoke disapproval of others and bring shame upon yourself. Setting the ad in an enclave of trendy young people is genius: You're never too young to learn how to conform.

Don't be yourself. Be what everybody else is. Never ask questions. Don't do anything different, ever. Try not to stand out. Why risk it? You'll only get hurt. They're all going to laugh at you.
Emotions, intellect, free will--who needs 'em?

We're not asking you to drink the Kool-Ade. We're just asking you to accept the pod. Keep it in your bedroom as you go to sleep. And when you wake up--well, it won't actually be you waking up, not that old you with those messy moods and tempers and dreams and half-baked notions. It'll be the new you, free of all that, accepting of everything you are told to accept.

It's time to upgrade.