Saturday, April 23, 2011


You could feel sorry for him, up to a point.  Life as a giant walking dick couldn't be easy, after all.  He was what he was, and sometimes--again, he couldn't help it--his cream would spurt all over the place.  That was the nature of things for Ambulatory Penis.

No one said he should hide himself away.  But hanging around the playground?  Not only asking kids about his cream, but forcing them to taste it? 

There are rules to society.  Ambulatory Penis found out too late, sobbing uncontrollably as he was hauled off in handcuffs, his only words to the press a hushed, "I'm only as God made me."  Despite the rumors of his dalliance with Fruit Pie The Magician, he was a first-time offender, and the judge was prepared to be lenient.  Still, after all he'd been through, Ambulatory Penis kept babbling at the arraignment about his creamy, creamy filling, and the punishment was harsh: Chemical sterilization. 

His jail time was relatively brief, but as a registered sex offender, he found housing hard to come by.  He was seen rarely in public, his circumsised head hung low in shame.  His enforced flaccid state made him physically unattractive, and when he passed away, his very name was a joke.

Still, some people recall...well, perhaps the details are too painful.  But if they try, they see him as he was, and remember.