Tuesday, April 26, 2011

A PROFOUND SENSE OF LOSS, NARROWLY AVERTED

There are days that we all remember, days that change everything.  The Kennedy assassination.  The Challenger explosion.  9/11.

And, most sobering of all, the day Ryan Phillippe suggested he may or may not quit acting.

When The New York Post--certainly one of the nation's finest news-gathering organizations--reported a half-assed quote from Phillippe about being so sick of the paparazzi surrounding him twenty-four hours a day that he was thinking of getting out of the acting game, the first thought that crossed the minds of every right-thinking citizen was, "NOOO!  We can't live in a world in which Ryan Phillippe's shimmering star presence no longer illuminates our hearts and movie screens."

Well, okay, maybe that wasn't our first collective thought.  First it was, "Who the hell is Ryan Phillippe again?"  Then, after a quick stop at IMDb, just to confirm that, Flags Of Our Fathers aside, the guy hasn't really been in much of note, we thought, "Wait, paparazzi are stalking this guy?"  Then we went about our business.  Come to think of it, we didn't really care about Phillippe one way or the other.

But if we had, his rep was quick to inform Access Hollywood--a show so distinguished it should have won a string of Peabody awards by now, assuming they're giving out Peabodys for total crap these days--that no, no, Ryan's cool, he doesn't want to quit acting, he's just looking to branch out.  Maybe some producing, directing, that sort of thing.  So, sort of like his one-time director Clint Eastwood, only with zero screen presence and marginal talent.

The point is, despite our momentary panic at the thought of losing this vast talent, our screens will continue to be filled with all the Phillippe we can stand, whatever form it may take.  Breathe easy, America!