Saturday, October 07, 2006

TAKE ME OUT

Okay, I don't write about sports, because I really don't know jack about sports, for the most part. But I will admit to being a Yankees fan--a rare thing here in the Heartland--and the fact that they're one game away from being eliminated in the play-offs, failing once again to even make it to The Series, is a bit of a bummer.

They're losing to Detroit, for crying out loud. That's like losing to...to...I dunno, Detroit. The Tigers suck, that's their job, and yet they're this close to handing the mighty Yankees another embarrassing defeat...The Four Horsemen are getting ready to ride, people. We're this close to Apocalypse.

Hopefully, George Steinbrenner won't take this as an excuse to throw out manager Joe Torre, who was pretty much responsible for the team's awesome winning streak in the nineties and early aughts, but it's Steinbrenner, so you never really know. He seems to think every problem can be solved by throwing huge amounts of money at free agents, although this is itself the problem, as even the most casual baseball fan knows. But telling that to Steinbrenner is like telling Bush it was a bad idea to invade Iraq: He just isn't capable of understanding.

Hey, did you notice that? How I suddenly used a seemingly innocuous post about a wholesome topic to take a cheap shot at Our Beloved President? Pretty impressive, eh? But remember kids, don't try this at home. Only trained professionals should attempt such hairpin curves.