Friday, March 26, 2010

IF I ACTUALLY COULD THINK OF ANY FALL OUT BOY LYRICS, I'D USE THEM HERE

Concert-goers here in Des Moines have had a bounty: Bret Michaels and Black-Eyed Peas have both played here this week, so if you have too much money to spend and no taste whatsoever, it's been good news!

I originally intended to use this post as an excuse to mock skanky, relentlessly auto-tuned Peas chanteuse Fergie, to essentially use her as a metaphor for everything that's wrong with pop culture today...but then the good folks at Reuters came along with a new interview with Pete Wentz, which rekindled my absolute and somewhat inexplicable hatred for Fall Out Boy and, well, there you go.

The thing is, this interview with Wentz--I'd provide a link, but honestly, it's so not worth it--is essentially the same as the one the AP did a month or so ago, and which I duly commented on at this very site. And my point is the same: Who gives a sweet shit?

I mean, it's Pete Fucking Wentz. The guy was in Fall Out Boy, a band so relentlessly mediocre that one of their claims to fame was discovering Panic! At The Disco. Plus, he's married to Ashlee Simpson. The fact that she's back to billing herself as Ashlee Simpson after a brief go-round as Ashlee Simpson-Wentz suggests that even she doesn't care about her husband.

But Reuters does. Evidently. Why else would they publish an interview with a guy who, instead of making crappy music, is now peddling a crappy clothing line. Wow! That puts him up there with Jaclyn Smith and Kathy Ireland, though presumably Wentz considers his clothing line more, you know, edgy. Kind of like that noxious cognac Ludacris slapped his name on.

(Actually, to be honest, I'm surprised I haven't picked up a bottle of Ludacris' cognac. Not because I would expect it to be any good--Lord, no--but simply for ironic novelty value. I once bought a bottle of James Darren's spaghetti sauce, for crying out loud.)

Anyway, the main point of the article seems to be that Wentz is doing fine not making music, which is good, because the citizens of Planet Earth are doing fine not listening to his music. The only odd thing is, there's no mention of an inevitable upcoming project. I mean, he's a self-absorbed, personality-free ex-rock star married to a moderately attractive woman with no talent whatsoever, right?

He's a VH1 reality show waiting to happen.