Monday, May 17, 2010


Oh, Ambulatory Penis, we'd forgotten all about your brief dalliance with the flamboyantly-garbed (and revealingly named) Fruitpie The Magician.  Not since Charles Bronson's brief affair with Charles Nelson Reilly had such an icon of rugged masculinity revealed his bi/curious tendencies. 

Of course, you still felt the need to cast yourself as the dominant in this pairing, and handed off the usual praise of your "creamy filling" to an underage girl.  Some people at the time felt this was a blatant attempt to simply widen your fan base, that your heart--or whatever organ--really wasn't in it, but, much like your chocolate-lovin' time spent with Happy Ho-Ho, this was a bold move at the time.  These days, such behavior would barely rate a shrug, and indeed, it's sad how few people remember you.

But some of us remember, Ambulatory Penis.  Once seen, the vision of a cartoon dick happily skiing down a mountain can't be unseen, and for that, we'll always love you.  Just not, you know, in that way.