America's entertainment press, you have failed us! It's been--yikes!--weeks since either Reuters or the Associated Press have featured a boring, utterly meaningless interview with Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz.
How are we to know what he thinks, how he feels, what his plans are for that why-bother clothing line of his, or if he intends to make some more crappy, easily ignored music? I mean, yeah, sure, I could follow his Twitter feed, but come on--that would suggest that I give a shit.
Which I don't, most emphatically. I can't imagine anybody does. And yet Reuters and the AP, the world's most reliably middle-of-the-road news sources, were on a Wentz-based roll there for awhile, showcasing chats with Mr. Ashlee Simpson as if every utterance from this barely-sentient mediocrity was somehow golden, as if readers across the globe were waiting for more news on the man's every action, as if Fall Out Boy could conceivably inspire that level of devotion (or even mild interest) from any human, ever.
But now, sadly, the news feed from these wire services contain only news of the latest American Idol or Dancing With The Stars fatalities, or upcoming TV schedules, or the latest news about boy god Justin Bieber, who is actually less interesting than Pete Wentz but is, at least, currently popular.
But I'm sure Pete will be back, making some momentous announcement or other (my prediction: Fall Out Boy gets back together--but under a different name, because they'll have, like, a different sound, and they don't want to mess with their, you know, legacy), and, while ignoring real news that matters to real people, Reuters and the AP will be there. Godspeed, you ink-stained wretches!
