Friday, June 04, 2010

PORTAL TO HELL

So I was wasting time at The Huffington Post--yeah, yeah, I know, but where else can you read political analysis by the likes of Sean Combs?--when I saw a photo of two people I didn't recognize under the ominous headline IT'S OVER.  Being a naive, trusting sort, I clicked on the photo and was immediately linked to People magazine's website, where I discovered the anonymous divorcing couple turned out to be...Mark-Paul Gosselaar and his wife?  Seriously?

Does anyone, anywhere, care about the private life of the erstwhile Zack Morris?  Even if I did have an inexplicable obsession with Saved By The Bell (and I'm not admitting anything), I would still say that Gosselaar is a non-entity, and he should have dropped off the tabloid radar about the time he stopped being profiled in Teen Beat.  I realize he's a working actor and all, but hell, Lark Voorhees still gets gigs, and it's not like I have to read details of her private life anywhere.

These people aren't even celebrities on the Danny Bonaduce level.  I mean, I think we all assume Screech will be found dead any day now (my bet: autoerotic asphyxiation), and his former castmates will try with all their might to say something nice about him, and when this happens, I sincerely hope that is the last we will ever hear about the behind-the-scenes lives of anyone connected with Saved By The Bell.

Until Mr. Belding does a sex tape.  Because that seems inevitable.