Saturday, July 29, 2006


1. Usually, though not always, I try to find some appropriate song lyrics to use as the title of my posts. In this case, I'm riffing on the title of Michael Nesmith's Some Of Shelly's Blues, and substituting the name Larry, in honor of the dreadful column Larry King used to write for USA Today, which was not so much a collection of random thoughts as a collection of random sentence fragments. (I like clam chowder...If you look up underrated in the dictionairy, you'll find a picture of Cal Coolidge...Morgan Fairchild is a special, special lady...) By invoking Larry King's name, I figured it would be a clever wy of tipping that this was yet another Random Thoughts column. But since I'm having to explain it, it wasn't really all that clever and...forget it.

2. As the above paragraph might suggest, I have not been feeling well lately. Thursday I started feeling lightheaded, and a co-worker mentioned that sweat was pouring off me, even though we were in an air-conditioned building. This combined with the fact that a routine doctor visit on Wednesday revealed that my blood pressure had gone up considerably, even though I'm on medication to stabilize it, has me a bit alarmed. I'm assuming that all of this is somehow related to the weather, which is punishingly hot, with no real relief in sight. And even though similar patterns of unbelievably warm weather are occuring worldwide, there's no such thing as global warming, so I don't want to hear about it.

3. Which reminds me of the ads for An Inconvenient Truth, Al Gore's global warming slide show. Not surprisingly, this isn't a movie that can be sold on its entertainment value, but the hectoring tones of the print ads is infuriating. The current campaign lists recent high temperatures worldwide, then notes, "Wonder why this is happening? See An Inconvenient Truth." I think we know without Al's explanation, thank you. Far worse was the ad from a few weeks ago, saying in essence that when future generations ask you what you did to stop global warming, you won't be able to look them in the eyes unless you see this movie. It wasn't quite that extreme, but close. It suggests a whole approach to marketing: Buy this or feel guilty.

4. I haven't seen An Inconvenient Truth, and don't intend to. Partly this is because I fear that by buying a ticket, the Democratic Party will somehow take this to mean that I endorse Al Gore, and try to persuade him to run for president again. Mostly I'm avoiding it because I do not like Al Gore. I remember all too well the spectacle of the man's debate with nutty bazillionaire Ross Perot on Larry "I like clam chowder" King's show when the Clinton administration was trying to ram NAFTA down America's throat. Perot was against NAFTA, and though some of his arguments were borderline racist, his main point was solid and, unfortunately, prescient: NAFTA would encourage companies to relocate to Mexico to take advantage of cheap labor, thus cutting hundreds of thousands of jobs in the U.S., and consequently doing a number on the working class. Gore's response to this, delivered in the smug, I-know-everything tone that probably killed his presidential bid, was a variation of the Reagan-era "a rising tide lifts all boats" theory. Sure NAFTA would be good for CEOs, but we all know they're altruistic and would take care of their hard working employees, right? Right?

5. It wouldn't be a Random Thoughts post without a mention of my cats. Delmar has taken to yowling at 4 AM, so even on mornings when I can sleep in, I can't sleep. Monika's new thing is bumming food off me, literally holding a paw out while I'm eating in a brother-can-you-spare-a-dime pose. Nice to know I've acquired a fuzzy gray Ratso Rizzo.

6. I like clam chowder.