Friday, January 30, 2009


That horrible sense of disconnectedness continues around here, now yoked to a new chum--tiredness. Yesterday was my day off, and I spent much of it sleeping. When I woke up (at two in the afternoon), I puttered around for awhile, ate dinner (such as it was--a peanut butter and jelly sandwich) and...went to bed.

And slept. But not a nice, refreshing sleep. I woke up at my usual time, but I still feel cranky and out of sorts, as though I've gone several days without catching a wink. When I sleep, I dream, of course, but even my subconscious is uninteresting--last night I dreamt I mixed a nice chocolate shake, only once I poured the milk, I discovered I was using buttermilk! Oh, the hilarity! Oh, the humanity! Seriously, a dream like that is boring enough to put a person to sleep. (And a stupid gag line like that is so lame even Milton Berle wouldn't steal it. And a Milton Berle reference is so out of date even Jay Leno wouldn't use it. And a Jay Leno joke is---AARRGGHH!! Stop it!)

Anyway, as any commercial for mood elevating drugs can tell you, being tired and disinterested in things is one of the symptoms of depression, but that doesn't seem likely, considering how sunny things always are in my world. (Note: HA!) Usually whenever I enter what an old girlfriend used to call "depressi-mode" I pass out of it eventually, generally without the aid of therapy or, God knows, meds. I've tried both, and they don't help. (The aforementioned girlfriend's method of getting me out of it was...well, let's just say she gave great succor.) All I can do is resolve to get better, to battle this with steel-eyed determination. It's the eye of the tiger, it's the thrill of the fight, risin' up to the challenge of--say, I feel a montage coming on...

At which point I'd normally go to YouTube and look for a lame Rocky III clip to post, but I'm too disinterested to do even that. For that, at least, we can be thankful.