Oh, finally Our Beloved President found a moment's quietude in his Latin America tour: Uruguay, where he was not treated as a visiting monster or an unwanted stranger. President Tabare Vazquez showed Bush around his private compound, walking in contemplative silence amidst the cows and horses. They shared some barbecue, and took a langorous boat ride together. One can imagine it as a misty soft focus montage, accompanied by a Rufus Wainwright song.
Of course, Vazquez is still a committed leftist, and speaking of Bushie before the visit, he made it clear that Uruguay is a thoroughly anti-imperialist nation. (Bush, asked about Vazquez's remark, responded, "I hope he would define my government as pro-freedom." Hope away, sir.)
Still, the fact that Vazquez is treating Bush with any sort of respect is seen as a mild rebuke to Hugo Chavez, who has been on a barnstorming tour of his own, pointing out (correctly) that Bush has never given an apparent rat's ass about the region until now, with the exception of backing a coup against Chavez, who was after all elected by the people of Venezuela. (Shows how much Bush really cares about democracy.) Chavez is on this tour not so much to bulk up his own popularity, but to stir hatred against Bush. He really doesn't need to bother; the fact that Bush is perfectly willing to build a fence along the Mexican border to keep out Latinos tells people in the region what he really thinks of them.
Actually, that Bush is on this tour at all is kind of weird. It's the kind of please-don't-hate-us goodwill bullshit that usually gets fobbed off on vice presidents. The fact that Bush is doing it himself makes it more apparent than ever that the real power in this administration is not in Bush's hands.
Besides, Cheney tried doing a goodwill tour himself recently and discovered everybody in the world hates him. And these days, he's probably locked down in his private compound, trying to decide whether he should have Scooter Libby pardoned or killed. (I picture Libby with an expression kind of like Count Dooku's right after Palpatine tells Annakin to behead him, an expression that says, "I served you faithfully and well, and this is how you reward me?")
If Cheney had gone to Uruguay, Vazquez's cows would have fled in terror, and the horses would have reared back, whinnying furiously, kind of like the monkeys when Damien visited the zoo. And Chavez could have just stayed home, because anyone would recognize this devil without prompting.
