Friday night was the first real practice of the season for Paul, as he and several other seven and eight year olds sprang across the bright green grass. Tabbatha and I stood, apart from the other adults, dads, mostly, who helped out, batting grounders to the kids while waiting for the coach to arrive.
We talked about our weekend plans. We'd be apart this weekend, me going over to Nebraska to see my nephew in his school pplay, while she just hung out at home. I kept watching Paul. He'd miss a ball, and one of the adults would tell him to keep his eye on it, get behind it, and next time he would. He listened and watched, the most concentration I've ever seen from him.
Tabbatha was downright chatty, talking about all manner of family matters, and talking excitedly about her new job. I love seeing her like this, and I'm so glad she likes her work, but the fact is, I barely paid attention to her.
She figured this out eventually: "Are you even listening to me?"
"Yeah," I said lamely. "Sort of. Sorry, I'm watching. This is all new to me." I nodded towards Paul. "He needs to work on throwing."
Vague irritation that I wasn't paying attention to her mixed with amusement at my reaction to her kid. The conversation shifted. She watched more, I listened more.
After practice, we went out for pizza (this is when Paul told me he wants to be called "Bumpy"; don't ask), and pretty much called it a night.
The next day it was off to Nebraska, ostensibly to see my nephew Matthew as Will Parker in Oklahoma! (and he was very good, as it turns out), but really to hang out with my brother John. I head over there every few months just to hang out, we watch bad movies while knocking back good beer, and drive into Omaha to eat artery-clogging King Kong Burgers, and just do stuff.
These things, presumably, I'll be doing less often once Tabbatha, Paul and I begin living together. It won't be so easy to get away, I'll have responsibilities and obligations. I'll be part of a family, I guess.
The life I've always had is the life I've known, and I've clung to it as a life preserver, drawing comfort from it even when it failed me. I didn't know I needed a change until I met Tabbatha, or maybe more accurately, once I met Paul, once I realized this new and different life was not only possible but even desirable, and things that seem mundane to many people--a kid's baseball practice, for instance--are a huge adventure when it's all new. This territory is unmarked, but fortunately, I'm with people with a good sense of direction.
