Two items from the world of showbiz which suggest people in the entertainment world have very little connection to reality:
1) They're making a prequel to Smokin' Aces.
If you responded, "That's silly, they can't make a prequel to a movie that never existed," you would not only be forgiven, you would be patted on the head and told, "Exactly."
And yet, though it vanished from the public consciousness the moment it was appeared, and provided entertainment to absolutely no one, there was a movie (briefly) released earlier this year entitled Smokin' Aces, yet another Tarantino knock-off showcasing a boatload of B-list Hollywood hepsters (Ryan Reynolds, Jeremy Piven, Ben Affleck).
Nobody cared then, nobody cares now, and yet they're making a prequel because--fuck, who knows? Because we're all so curious to know what happened prior to the incidents we didn't give a rat's ass about in the first place?
Bad enough Hollywood keeps remaking movies that don't need to be remade. (They're threatening a remake of Bullitt!) Now they're making follow-ups to their own sorry-ass originals. (I use the word "originals" very loosely here.)
Somebody make it stop.
2) Steven Seagal claims the FBI ruined his career.
Yes, the puffy, balding has-been says an FBI investigation into his ties with slimy private investigator Anthony Pellicano--an investigation begun five years ago--somehow damaged his reputation. The question, of course, is, What reputation?
This is Steven Fucking Seagal. He was a kind of minor star for awhile, in the late eighties an early nineties, but his reputation was based entirely on his ability to beat guys up onscreen. Like a lot of action stars, Seagal's box office dimmed as his brand of bone-crunching entertainment fell out of fashion. (Jeff Speakman, we hardly knew ye.)
In Seagal's case, he was pretty much washed up by the mid-nineties. The indignity of straight-to-DVD releases was pretty much his lot min life well before the FBI started its investigation of Pellicano, who, incidentally, had ties to dozens of folks in the entertainment world, none of whom have accused the federal government of ruining their careers. By throwing a public hissy fit (albeit a hissy fit that's heavier and slower-moving than it used to be), Seagal only reminds everyone of why they got sick of him in the first place: He's a dick.
Still, maybe by getting his name in the press again, he'll give himself enough "heat" to be considered for a bit part in that long-awaited Smokin' Aces prequel. We can only hope.
