Sometimes I post here because I'm angry at the state of the world. (Those would be the "Bush is a douchebag" screeds.) Other times, it's an act of public therapy, as I try to work through feelings of grief (over my mother's death) or self-doubt (over my inability to sustain a relationship). Still other times, I simply want to make you, the reader, aware of something I think is important. (Did I mention The Pirate comes out on DVD tomorrow?)
Many times, however, I post here simply for the sake of posting. An act of presumption on my part, since it assumes I have enough people stopping by here on a regular basis that I should assume the role of a good host, and always try to have something new.
And I do write here with the hope of being read. Writing is solitary; once it's done and you send it out in the world, you hope somebody, somewhere, will find it and make use of it.
Which brings me to my stats.
My numbers had been unusually high for well over a week, then over the weekend dropped to practically nothing. Some of that higher traffic came from regular visitors here--as always, thanks to both of you--but much of it was new. So something brought people here...and something made them not return.
This site has become a surprisingly important part of my life. I put a lot of myself into it, expose aspects of myself I once would have been uncomfortable sharing, so if no one's reading it--or worse, if they're actively repelled by it--it makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong. Should I post here less frequently, and only if I actually have something to say? Should I shut the whole thing down and go live in a cave? Should I just stop whining?
Or should I just wait until tomorrow, and see if I feel like writing?
