Good news! Michael Bolton and Nicollette Sheridan have called off their engagement!
For those of you asking, "Who and Who?", well, you have no idea how lucky you are. The rest of us, all too aware of the charisma-free personalties and questionable talents of this formerly loving couple, can rest easy, knowing that a permanent mating has been avoided.
Because when two titanic non-entities are joined as one...Well, I have no idea what happens in the real world, but according to the Laws Of Physics as defined by Marvel Comics, the universe would have threatened to collapse on itself. Sure, Reed Richards could have devised some plan to save us, but he's a fictional character, and the threat of the Bolton/Sheridan union was all too real.
But before you rest too easy, True Believers, know this: Charlie Sheen 's wife is pregnant! Beware!