Tuesday, May 26, 2009

THE SONG REMAINS THE SAME

"What?"

I said, what's the matter?

"Nothing. Why?"

You're distracted. You're barely here.

"No, it's nothing, I was just..."

Just...?

"Maybe I've been hurt too many times, or maybe it's too hard to commit to anything, or believe in anything, but...I'm not sure I'm ready for this."

This?

"A relationship."

Is that what we have?

"No. Not yet. But it's what you want. Isn't it?

I don't...It would be nice if one developed, but we can't force anything to happen if it's not going to happen. For now, we're just dating.

"Yeah, but why date if you don't want it to lead anywhere?"

So what you're saying is, you don't see this leading anywhere.

"Into anything serious? No."

Did you ever? I mean, we've been seeing each other for over a month. Did it ever have potential, or was it just...whatever it is now?

"Yeah, I thought...I don't know."

Is it the age thing?

"Maybe a little. But not really...I just see you more as a friend."

Ah.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Let's just say I've heard the old "let's just be friends" routine before.

"But what's wrong with being friends?"

Because you don't really mean it. And even if--

"I do! I do mean it. I think we'd be really great friends."

And even if you do, it doesn't matter, because it won't work out. I've seen the pattern, I know how this works. Look, we both know I'm not Mister Excitement. There's no thrill to me, no hint of danger, nothing reckless or crazy. I'm a Nice Guy. It's my curse. And...it's funny. Do you remember what I said when we first met?

"No. You said a lot of things."

You told me your horror stories, of all the guys who had fucked you over, and I said I'd never do that, I'm a Nice Guy. But I also said girls never fall for the Nice Guys--

"--And I said sometimes they do."

But I knew you wouldn't.

"So how come you didn't run away then?"

Because I hoped I was wrong.

"I really do like you. You know that, right?"

Yeah. Maybe. I don't know.

"We really could be friends."

We'll see. I doubt it. I mean, I'm always gonna have a soft spot for you, I'll always think of you fondly. But...We both know it was just a passing thing. No point in trying to turn it into something else. Best to just say goodbye. But a friendly goodbye, at least. We're not angry, we're not throwing things.

"That's a first for me."

Well, at least I've done something for you.