Thursday, September 11, 2008

NEVER FORGET THAT THING WE CAN'T QUITE REMEMBER, WHATEVER IT WAS

The commemorative 9/11 tone is muted this year, don't you think? Sure, Obama and McCain are taking a self-consciously solemn break from campaigning to mark the day, the Matt Lauers and Diane Sawyers of the world still make the same fatuous comments about America's "loss of innocence" and there are the usual op-ed pieces.

Most Americans, though, seem to have gotten on with their lives. Despite Rudy Giuliani's increasingly pathetic attempts to inject it into the campaign, even the Republicans aren't really running on the "war on terror" ticket. The day that supposedly changed everything, that was used as a justification for everything from the war in Iraq to the gradual erosion of civil liberties, seems little more than a footnote now.

Seven years ago, that seemed impossible. I was married then, living in a northern suburb of D.C., and the days following the attacks remain a blur of quiet anxiety. People with dark skin and vaguely foreign names festooned their vehicles and houses with American flags to prove they were solid citizens. Ominous warnings about unchecked bags boomed from the PA systems of Metro stations, as patrons eyed each other suspiciously. A beefy, middle-aged checkout clerk at a Safeway started blubbering as he bagged my groceries: "3000 people! Gone like that."

Every beautiful blue sky conjured memories of the beautiful blue sky that morning, and people grew closer as they shared the same fears, even as they grew more distrustful for the very same reason. Surely this was only the beginning. When would the other shoe drop? Then the anthrax attacks started through the mail, and it seemed as if nothing was safe, as if the world itself had started to unravel.

But it didn't, really. Time went on. In the year following 9/11, my marriage fell apart, followed by an abrupt return to the midwest. I found myself unemployed and with no fixed address. My oldest brother was killed in a freak accident. Day-to-day struggles took precedence over the big picture. The messy business of life took over.

Most likely, some version of that scenario happened to all of us. Yeah, it was a terrible thing, but unless we knew someone directly involved, it faded into the past, a vague memory, just another thing that happened to someone else.