Thursday, September 07, 2006

AWAKEN YOU DREAMERS

You may have noticed--those of you who actully read this thing on a daily basis (and a big hello to both of you!)--that I didn't post anything yesterday. This wasn't entirely by design--I overslept--but still, I found it somewhat liberating.

I bought a computer in March, in the wake of my mother's death. I started writing this blog in April, as a way to deal with my emotions, but it quickly evolved into...well, whatever it is. It had been so long since I had written anything, and I was surprised by how good it felt, at the exhiliration I would feel when I nailed the point I tried to make, and realizing that, oh yeah, this is something I can actually do.

Writing every day was a discipline I needed, and still do, I suppose. Yet I suspect I won't be posting here every day anymore, at least for the time being. There has been at least one major change in my life--I seem to be in a relationship. (More on that, of course, in a future piece.)

But it's really more about the little things in my life. I bought three CDs over the wekend, and I'm eager to listen to them, but I haven't so far, and they're joining other albums and movies I've acquired in recent months that I just haven't found the time for. Sometimes I'll have music playing while I'm on the computer, but at those times it's just there, heard but not appreciated, background noise while I'm doing a web search for information on Terrytoons or some such.

And I'm thrilled that I can find this information, and amazed at what is out there on the web. I've found clips of Phil Ochs and Sandy Denny and Tim Buckley, stuff that I didn't even know existed. It's a lot of fun, but I feel like it's taking over my life. I need to cut back and rediscover the other pleasures of life I've neglected, and to enjoy life as a participant.

Of course, I say all this, and yet here I am, up way too early, posting this piece. So yeah, business may continue here as usual. But if it doesn't, it probably means that I'm too busy--gasp of disbelief--having a good time elsewhere.