Wednesday, March 11, 2009


"So...How's the time away from the blog going?"

AAUUGGHH! Who are you? How did you get in here?

"Relax. I'm just your inner voice, here to discuss your time away from this site."

Okay, two things: What time away from the site? I just posted two days ago.

"Yeah, a perfunctory clip from Pink Lady And Jeff. Thanks."

And two--my inner voice? What kind of a hoary literary device is that?

"It's embarrassingly lame, true, but hey, I'm not the one writing this crap."

Fair enough. So, um, why are you here again?

"Just wondering when you're going to start writing again. Actual writing, not posting clips."

What about that long screed on Vincente Minnelli? That was just, what, three days ago.

"Let me rephrase that: When are you going to write about something people actually, you know, care about?"

Oh. Well. I nearly wrote a thing yesterday about the death of Jimmy Boyd. he was the kid who recorded I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.

"That's what I mean. Nobody cares."

No, no, you don't understand. What I was going to write about was his marriage to--and divorce from--actress Yvonne Craig. She was TV's Batgirl, you know. But her marriage fell apart in '62, so by the time she got the Batgirl gig she was a 30-year-old divorcee, seducing innocent young boys via the cathode ray tube. It seemed like there may have been a metaphor in there somewhere.

"Apparently not."

No. Well, that's why I didn't write it.

Oh, and George Lucas is planning a Star Wars TV series, and...but that would be like me churning out another piece on Vincente Minnelli, wouldn't it? The same stuff I always write about. Maybe that's why this site has been a little quieter lately. Maybe I've run out of things to say.

"Or maybe you just don't care."


"So are you going to resume regular postings around here anytime soon?"

I dunno. Maybe. We'll see.

"And are you going to leave off with a randomly-chosen clip, to provide some small measure of entertainment to whatever readership you still have left?"

Yeah, I thought I'd go with this early seventies Burger Chef ad. The notion of selling a fast food joint as someplace warm and inviting, a home away from home--it's kind of sweet and chilling at the same time.

"All right. Well, see you later."

Catch you on the flip-flop, good buddy.

"No CB lingo, please."