Here, in no real order, are some of the many affectionate nicknames I call my beloved Delmar:
Psychokitty
Del-Star
Del-Phonic
The Del-Meister
Delly Del Del (Incidentally, when you're using cutesy monikers like this for a cat, you're about two steps away from spending the rest of your life watching Murder, She Wrote reruns.)
Delmar Von Dellington III
The Li'l Feller
Li'l Spleeny
My Special Little Guy
Monster From The Id
Jack's Raging Bile Duct
Mr. Pink
Mr. Bad Example
Excitable Boy
George Peatty
Mooch
Shtinky
Herr Drosselmeier (Really doesn't fit his personality, and I have no idea how this started...)
Rotwang
El Marko
Hey You
Cat Of Destiny
Fur Miser
Senor Stubby
Wheezy Joe
Tuna Whore
All well and good, but here are the affectionate names I have for Monika:
Monika
I mean, is that fair? Okay, when she was a kitten, I used to call her Kiddo, and sometimes still do, albeit in a creepy Udo Kier voice that seems more unsettling than endearing.
The point is, Monika is a wonderful cat in every way, shape and form. She leaps on the bed and cuddles with me every night, burrowing under the covers and smooshing her head under my arms, her intense purring sending literal good vibrations through my entire body.
So surely she deserves some sort of adorable nickname. Doesn't she? Maybe not. Any further term of endearment would be redundant; she's just Monika, and perfect the way she is.
