Looking through lists of motion pictures announced for production always causes one's soul to die a little, but this strikes me as particularly stupid: They're remaking My Bloody Valentine.
In case you're one of the many with no memory of it, 1981's My Bloody Valentine was one of innumerable anonymous slasher pictures released in the wake of Friday The 13th, part of the original string of dead teenager epics. Valentine was neither the best nor worst of this sorry lot, distinguished only by its clever title.
That title, apparently, is the only thing the remake will have in common with the original, but really, who cares? Coming on the heels of this weekend's deeply unnecessary in-name-only redo of Prom Night, it would appear that studios have run out of good movies to dumb down with "reimaginings", and now are attempting to reproduce absolute crap. Sad thing is, they can't even do that very well.
The original My Bloody Valentine and Prom Night may have been awful, but they were turned out fast and cheap by people who likely thought an exploitation hit could lead to better opportunities somewhere down the line. The new versions are much more polished affairs, backed by major-studio budgets...but utterly devoid of purpose. Their very professionalism makes you wonder why the cast and crew even bothered showing up. No one could have been under the illusion they were doing anything worthwhile.
